TABLE FOR ONE.
You may recall that scene in Forgetting Sarah Marshall where Jason Segel's character, staying alone at a tropical resort more the domain of newlyweds, asks the maître d' of the resort's restaurant (Jonah Hill) if he can have a table for one. Incredibly confused, Jonah Hill's character asks Jason Segel if his wife or partner will be joining him shortly, and after establishing that Segel really is eating by himself, he asks - in a conspiratorial whisper - whether he should bring over some magazines for Segel to read. What else is he going to do? The inescapable implication is that Segel should just go back to his room and order a pizza.
The utter shame of having to endure this sort of conversation no doubt turns countless people off dining out alone, even though they'd really rather not have takeaway pizza for dinner. Restaurants don't really want to have solitary diners, right? After all, how many tables for one do you see set up in the dining room? Well, I'm here to tell you that dining out alone can be very rewarding, and you shouldn't feel embarrassed to do it.
What's good about it? Firstly, you can call your own shots. Too often a shared meal involves a bit of compromise, and after compromising time and time again, it gets annoying – particularly when you’re serious about food like me. When it's just you, you can set your own rules about budget, cuisine, number of courses and whether or not to order that fourth glass of Tempranillo. You don't have to step to anyone else's inscrutable food dislikes, you can put as much sauce on your meal as you want, and you don't have to share dessert. You don't even have to have dessert, if it's not your thing. Dining solo also makes the process of paying mercifully simple. Unlike group meals, you don't have to worry about whether or not the venue can split the bill, or the fairest way to divvy things up considering someone ordered an extra beer and someone else didn't have any of the lamb because they're vego.
Secondly, eating out by yourself can also be an extremely therapeutic experience. Sometimes you don't want to have to talk – it's been a long morning, or a long day. You can switch off a bit and enjoy your surrounds. Not to mention indulging a little in the glorious sport of people-watching. Furthermore, your routine is king. Take it from me – I am no stranger to dining rituals. Back at uni I worked out that the cheapest way for me to eat everyday was to take a certain route to a certain food court, stopping on the way to buy a drink at a certain newsagents where water was cheaper than anywhere else. I would always get the same Japanese takeaway and was settled in this habit to the point where, if any of my friends asked if I was free for lunch, I would prevaricate in a panic about having to meet a long-lost relative, or needing to attend a doctor's appointment, or recently taking up a hunger strike. Sure, maybe I endured some strange looks, but I never had to give up my routine, or pay more than $2 for water.
Thirdly, facing your fears about dining alone in a restaurant means you can avoid the often grim world of takeaway and fast food. Just like Jason Segel, maybe you don't want a pizza. Maybe you've got a craving for a certain cuisine that supermarket ready-meals aisles just won't satisfy. Maybe you're travelling and you want to bask in the local food culture as opposed to visiting the same fast food chain you do at home. Opening yourself up to the experience of solo dining means opening the door to a world of new possibilities that you might not have considered before, or felt that you couldn't. Don't settle for drive-through when you can go somewhere relatively decent.
Of course, I'm not just going to tell you that you should try this sometime and then leave it there. I've got a few tips for making the experience less uncomfortable for all involved, built up over years of dining alone. Disclaimer: I do have a healthy social life and many friends I enjoy eating with all the time.
Figure out the vibe
Look, it is true that there are some places where fronting up unaccompanied is going to be more weird than at others. It's essential that you have a careful think about the type of place you're planning on heading to. Things like location, level of formality and time of day are key factors that should colour your decision. Rocking up to a local bar for a pint and a plate of calamari on a Sunday arvo is probably going to turn fewer heads than taking a table for one on Friday night at your city's finest degustation spot. A place that offers a menu of share, casual-style food allows your visit to become more of a "stopping by for a snack" situation rather than a full blown "pre-planned deliberate full meal". That's not to say you can't have a main course – or an entrée and dessert as well. Consider the location carefully – are people passing by? Is it conceivable that you were wandering down the street and thought, fuck it, I'll check that place out? That's super cool. If you've had to drive half an hour out of town, this sort of modish nonchalance is harder to affect.
Here's a handy tip – restaurants in touristy places or attached to hotels are usually much more accustomed to seating individuals. If you're really shy, think about venues from this angle – although be careful you don't fall for an overpriced tourist trap.
Sit at the bar
Consider the layout of the spot you want to go to. Do people sit on those long share tables, elbow to elbow? You might stand out a bit more here. Is the dining room large and square and well-lit? Or are tables spread out around corners and in different clusters? There's more likely to be a quieter, inconspicuous place for you to sit. Unless of course you are an elite people-watching athlete and you'd prefer to pull up a chair smack bang in the middle of the floor. If that's more your jam, power to you.
No matter where you are, if you're Han Solo-ing it, sitting at the bar is always a great option. Obviously the bar is a flexible area for as many or as few people as necessary. Better still, you've got all the entertainment you need right in front of you, particularly if the place has an open kitchen. You can sit at the bar at casual venues and fancy establishments – increasingly it's seen as one of the most sought-after seats in the house. Put on a bit of a pretentious air and other diners will probably jealously think you're friends with the chef.
Bring some materials
Okay, so maybe your fear of dining out alone springs less from embarrassment and more from boredom. Depending on where you go, it's perfectly acceptable to bring something to do. My earlier point about sussing the vibe especially applies here, though. You don't want to be cracking out your laptop in the middle of a 30-seat candle-lit Italian joint. A good old-fashioned book is always a strong bet, particularly if you're somewhere outdoorsy. Again, if the venue is attached to or associated with a hotel, bringing a magazine, your laptop – or heaven forbid, some work – probably won't be that abnormal. Of course, in today’s society, scrolling through your phone for hours on end, wherever you are, is almost the ubiquitous human condition – so doing it over dinner is no sin. Let me stress that this applies only when dining alone – there’s nothing more rude than whipping out your mobile at the table with friends.
Back yourself in
Finally, be confident. If you act like you’re meant to be there, then who is anyone to say that you’re not? It takes courage to go to a bar, restaurant or café by yourself, and you should be proud that you don’t need to rely on others to make an experience for yourself. Give yourself a little pep talk figuring out what you want – you’re gonna go in and get a glass of wine and something delicious – to avoid any nerves at the till. Once you're comfortable with eating out alone, you almost wouldn't have it any other way.